E. STEPS TO VICTORY
This all makes sense and we know it is in the Bible. But when ministers experience success in the ministry, and their pride is fed with much praise, a feeling of self-importance can begin to undermine their marriage.
1. Your First Priority Must Be Your Wife
It is at this time you need to remember that the girl you married is still your first priority. No matter how successful or important you think your ministry may be, you will ultimately fail if you forget your God-given responsibility for your wife.
Proverbs is unyielding about this kind of a situation: “The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out.
“For jealousy enrages a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. he will not accept any ransom, nor will he be content though you give many gifts” (Prov 6:32-35).
God will forgive and forget the sin of the leader who falls and truly repents. But, the people will not. they will remember the rest of their lives – and may will never forgive the man who let them down by his moral failure. Such leaders will be haunted day and night by thoughts of “what might have been – had I not sinned.”
2. Avoid Moral Compromise
Throughout the Old and New Testaments, men of God have been warned both by word and example that we should avoid moral compromise. The Proverbs repeat this message:
“Any man who toys with sexual sin is a fool, lacking in sense.”
a. Eli’s sons … brought God’s judgment upon themselves because they sinned with the women who served at the gate of the tabernacle;
b. Samson… failed and wasted his life because of his fornication with Delilah;
c. David … the man after God’s own heart, suffered throughout his life because of his adultery with Bathsheba; and even
d. Solomon.. the very one who wrote Proverbs and warned us of the painful consequences of adultery and fornication, lost God’s favor because of his immorality.
Yet, despite all this, many church leaders fall because they give in to the lusts of the flesh. But you don’t have to. There are some things you can do which will guarantee your protection from this sin that destroys careless men of God.
We’ve already talked about the need to love your wife. This builds the foundation of our fortress against this grievous sin, but there are other materials which make up the walls.
3. Decide To Stay Pure
Make your final decision that you will not commit fornication or adultery.. that you will stay pure in your service to God. Men who study psychology say that once a man has firmly made up his mind about something, he will never change it!
The Bible talks about this when it speaks of a “repentance not to be repented of” or a “repentance without regret” (2 Cor 7:10).
Once we make a firm decision to turn from sin to such a degree that we won’t change our mind, we’ve made a “repentance without regret.”
Many of us believe that adultery and fornication are sins not to be played with, but we often reserve a small corner in our minds to toy with the idea. We don’t totally banish the thought of it from our minds nor do we challenge Satan any time he brings the suggestion to us.
Brethren, in so doing, you are sowing the seeds of your own destruction. No matter how small or insignificant you think those thoughts are, they are large enough to give Satan all the foothold he wants.
4. Guard Your Thoughts
Make a decision positively and decisively not to entertain thoughts about moral uncleanness. the Bible ways, “Watch over your heart [mind] with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Prov 4:23).
Not only must we set our will to be pure, but we must also “set a sentry” at the gates of our mind to keep out impure thoughts. It has been said that you can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nestling in your hair.
If the enemy plants an unclean thought in your mind, reject it outright. “Gird up the loins of your mind” (1 Pet 1:13). that means to bind up the loose immoral thoughts and exercise control over them. Don’t let your mind become the devil’s garbage can.
Men of God are often assaulted by unclean thoughts, but they must immediately deal with those thoughts if they will stay pure.
As a man who commits himself to God’s service, you cannot afford to entertain thoughts of impurity.
They may enter uninvited, but you must throw them out as you would a thief or a murderer. If we entertain thoughts of impurity and moral compromise, we give Satan a foothold which could one day cause our downfall.
“For out of the heart [mind] of man proceed.. adultery… fornications …these defile the man” (Matt 15:19-20).
If you are unwilling to make this commitment and won’t decide once and for all to “flee from fornication.” then don’t go into the work of the Lord. Do anything else you wish, but get out of the ministry.
5. Flee Temptation
The man of God who desires to protect himself must “abstain from every form of evil” (1 Ths 5:22). We cannot afford to risk involvement in activities or places where evil is likely to be found.
When God created you, He released a force within you that insures the continuance of the human race. You cannot cope with it outside the legitimate bounds God has laid down for us in His word. it is foolish to put yourself in a position where you are likely to arouse this dynamic force through your behavior or environment.
Some Christians feel that because of their faith in Jesus they are immune to sexual temptation. This is plain foolishness! We are told to withstand the devil and resist him, but we are told to “flee from fornication” (Jas 4:7; 1 cor 6:18).
We have power over all manner of evil spirits, and the demons are subject to those who move in the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit. But God gives clear instruction that when it comes to sexual temptation, we are to turn and flee from it.
Joseph is an example of how God wants us to deal with over sexual temptation. When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph to commit adultery with her, the Bible tells us he turned and fled from her presence leaving his garment in her hand (Gen 39:12). That is how we are to do it!
Fleeing fornication isn’t only running from obvious attempts to seduce us. It also means guarding ourselves in situations prone to sexual temptation. For those of us in Christian ministry, this means the times we counsel with the opposite sex.
a. Never alone. One evangelist I know will never be alone with the opposite sex. Wherever he goes, he is either accompanied by his wife or a male member of his team. Preachers who are wise and committed to purity never allow themselves to be found in situations where Satan has easy access to them,
When counseling with the opposite sex, always have someone nearby and never be in a private situation. Keep the door of the room open. Make it impossible for sin to happen, and it won’t.
Paul says “make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts” (Rom 13:14). This means not to do anything, or be anywhere that arouses your fleshly nature and gives it a chance to take control of your behavior.
As I said before, God has put within us a strong drive to reproduce ourselves. He has also created a unique relationship in which that drive can and should be properly controlled. It is foolish to put ourselves in positions where it will be fanned into flame and cannot be put out. If you play with this fire, you are sure to get burned… and badly.
6. Be Accountable
We must realize that every man and woman suffers the same temptations we do. Failure in this area wouldn’t be so common or widespread otherwise.
As a minister you will often be discouraged by your job. If you aren’t careful, you’ll believe that no one suffers the same struggles you do.
This is a lie of the devil. Be smart and protect yourself. Let God lead you to a brother (or sister if you are a woman) in whom you can confide, and come to an understanding to help one another with this battle.
The Bible says that two are better than one. Jesus confirmed this by sending His apostles out two-by-two. Having someone who can help you when you are caught at a weak moment is tremendous protection, especially an area like this where all have times of weakness.
Next week
Summary and conclusion of Flee Fornication