Traditional Jewish Wedding Customs

Relationship to Yeshua and His Bride, the Body of Believers

Part 1- Erusin or Kiddushin – Betrothal or Engagement

Kiddushin is derived from the word Kadosh, meaning holy! Once a bride and bridegroom enter into this initial phase of marriage they are considered married. Another words, they would have to get a divorce, called a “get” to break of the engagement.

This period lasts from one to two years. The betrothal is a parallel to the engagement in most ways except that in the ancient Jewish custom, it was binding! It was so binding that it could not be broken without a orthodox divorce. You were considered bound together from the period you entered the betrothal contract until the wedding day. When Joseph discovered that his betrothed wife Mary was with child he had real grounds to obtain a orthodox divorce and would have if the angel had not appeared unto him and explained what was going on. Even though the couple is engaged they do not have a physical relationship and they do not live together either.

1. The Arrangement:

The groom’s father made and approved choice of the bride. In traditional Jewish customs, marriages were arranged by their fathers. It is quite often that the Bride and Groom have never seen one another before they are engaged.

John 6:44 “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raisehim up at the last day.”

2 Corinthians 11:2 – For I, Paul have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to the Messiah.

2. The Groom’s Promise: Tenaim – Conditions

The Groom makes a covenant or contract promise.

The Ketubah is a document that is used for the purpose of assuring a bride will be provided for. Once this document was signed and witnessed by two people then it was binding and the couple was considered married.

Drink the cup of wine to seal the covenant. Kiddush

Groom pays a price to show he is serious.; today the wedding ring is used for this purpose.

Groom’s speech of promise to his bride that he would come to claim her soon, this is the Engagement Promise.

A Covenant Relationship -

God made a New Covenant with Israel and Judah to replace one He made with Moses. Yeshua drank cup of redemption at Passover. Yeshua paid the bride price of redemption for us on the cross.

Jeremiah 31:31
Matthew 26:27-29,
1 Corinthians 6:20 John 14:2-3

3. Groom Prepares a Place for His Bride: Chuppah

Groom prepares a bridal chamber where they stay for seven days. He works on it until
it pleases his father. Then he may go after his bride. The Chuppah canopy is derived from this type of a bridal chamber.

Yeshua tells us that He does not know when He will come; only His Father
knows. We must be alert and ready! For, He is preparing our place now.
Be alert: Be ready: Do all He asks while you’re here. Develop an
active prayer life. Offer yourself in ministry opportunity. Keep
ourselves from doubt and failure.

John 14:1-4 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

4. Waiting for up to two years

–for the bridegroom to come for the bride

As John the Baptist was filled with joy when he saw Yeshua, so we too shall be filled when we join Yeshua in the heavenly bridal chamber. Some liken those 7 days in the chamber to the 7 year tribulation period which we will spend not in agony on earth, but in bliss in heaven. Then we will return as the wife, not the Bride.

Jesus Teaches About Fasting Luke 5:33-34 Then they said to Him, “Why do the disciples of John fast often and make prayers, and likewise those of the Pharisees, but Yours eat and drink?” And He said to them, “Can you make the friends of the bridegroom fast while the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them; then they will fast in those days.”

Part 2  Nisuin or Chuppah – Ceremony or Nuptials

The word
Nisuin means “to lift up” or “carry”.

Lifting up the bride is an ancient wedding custom of carrying the bride to the ceremony in a carriage lifted by poles. Although seldom done today, the ceremony bears the name. The Chuppah is not only related to the bridal chamber, it is also “lifted” by poles like the ancient carriage. The custom of lifting the bride and now the groom in chairs is rooted in this processional. Due to the expense of having two ceremonies.

5. The Mikvah – Ritual Immersion –

Today, the Jewish Bride and event the Groom are immersed in a ritual pool of Mayim Chaim, Living Water, known as a Mikvah. The Mikvah is a pool of water that has a source and exit stream. A river, lake, or sea is a natural mikvah. A man made pool could work as well if there is a constant inflow and exit drain. In the Torah, women were immersed for various reasons such as their monthly menstrual cycle. The immersion is a requirement for Gentile converts to Judaism. The Mikvah was not a ritual started by John the Baptist. This is an ancient Jewish practice dating back to
the time of Moses.

Remember John, the Baptist…. He was Jewish. The act of Baptism or immersion did not begin as a Christian concept. It is rooted in the Jewish cleansing rituals from the Torah. It had been a practice of the priests to wash or immerse themselves.

John’s baptism itself is probably best understood as an adaptation of Jewish ritual washings, with some influence from Qumran in particular.

John’s baptism was primarily a baptism of repentance (Mt. 3:11; Mk. 1:4; Lk. 3:3; Acts 13:24; 19:4).

6. The Bride Waits:

While the groom builds the new home, the bride waits and wears a veil. This shows she belongs only to the groom. She prepares for her wedding by making blankets, etc. She also shows gratitude to her family for raising her and she mends hurt relationships. No matter what, she had to be ready because he would come at night.

We must do His will in our daily lives. We must be committed to our ministries at home and Body of Believers. We must heal wounded relationships and express our agape love to each other. We must exhort! Yeshua tells us that He will come like a thief. So, we must be living “His Love” at all times. The Body of Believers, too, is veiled. The world is not sure who the Body of Believers is. When we go, it will know.

2 Corinthians 11:2 Luke 19:13 1 Corinthians 13:1 Luke 12:40

7. Kittel – The Wedding Garment:

The Kittel is a white robe, it looks somewhat like a bathrobe. It is a garment worn at Passover. It is also warn by the Groom at a wedding. The word Kittel is rooted in the Hebrew word Katal – To Slay. A garment worn by priests during certain sacrifices such
as Passover or Yom Kippur Sacrifice.

In Biblical times the kittel was warn by all the men attending the
wedding. The Parable of the Wedding Feast — Matthew 22:11-12 But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment. So he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?’

8. The Bridesmaids:

Unmarried friends who attend the to bride and provide light for the groom who comes at night. This is a traditional custom for friends to light havdalah candles in the processional or during the veiling ceremony. Light is a symbol of God’s presence, the Shekinah Glory.

We prepare the bride in our ministry to each other. We groom her. We must be ready in our service and not run out of power or conviction as the
bridesmaids did. Parable of the Ten Virgins – Matthew 25:1-13 “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. “

9. The Bridegroom Comes:

The groomsmen would run ahead of the groom sound the Shofar, and shout that he was coming. While the father’s head was turned, the groom would steal the bride. The wedding party then went back to the groom’s house to meet the guests.

The angel, Gabriel, will blow the trumpet of God, and Yeshua will come like a thief to snatch away His Bride. When we arrive in Heaven, a host of people will be waiting for us. John 3:29

He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled.

10. The Bridal Chamber – Chuppah

The bride and groom enter the bridal chamber where the marriage is consummated. The party waits outside until the groom tells the best man that it is consummated. Then, the guests rejoice for 7 days.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 – For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the Shofar, trumpet of God. And the dead in Messiah will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.

11. The Kiddush-

The shared cup of wine is a simcha, joy, at a Jewish Wedding. When the bride drinks from the cup after the bridegroom it is a sign that she is accepting the covenant he has signed during the Ketubah signing.

Blessing of the Cup:

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheynu Melech Ha-Olam Borey P’ree Hagafen.

Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine. Amen.

Yeshua’s first miracle was turning water into wine at a Jewish wedding. – John 2

Matthew 26:27-29 Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I
drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.”

13. Breaking of the Glass
- A symbol of the destruction of the Temple. Also a sign that the covenant broken can not be put back together.

The Temple was destroyed in the year 70 A.D. A Traditional end to a Jewish wedding serves as a reminder of the fragility of life, even during the most joyous of celebrations. Life is fragile. We break this glass as a symbol of our past. In the theater that say go break a leg. In a Jewish wedding we break a glass. Forgiveness is an end to a shattered past. As the Groom smashes the glass everyone will shout Mazel Tov! Which means Good Fortune, may your lives here on out not be shattered, but full of fortune and joy.

14. Married Life Begins:

New couple goes to the father’s home to begin married life.

We too, will go to the Father’s house for the Marriage Feast of The Lamb, then go with The Messiah in His reign in His kingdom here on earth for 1,000 years.

Revelation 21: 1 Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

15. Yichud – Seclusion-

After the Wedding Ceremony the Bride and Groom now retreat to a private room to enjoy one another. This is a time of togetherness before the great feast that awaits them.

Revelation 19:5 Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb!’